When does therapy end?

In my very first social work class in college, our professor taught us that termination begins during the first session. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone when the relationship between social worker and client ends; it should be an ongoing conversation from day one. Sounds reasonable, right? After all, the relationship–whether it’s traditional therapy or case management or some other social worker/client situation–is finite. There is a goal that both parties are trying to achieve together. It’s not going to go on forever.

In real life, I don’t necessarily start talking termination in the first session (with apologies to that favorite professor of mine!). I have my reasons. First, for a lot of my clients, starting therapy is a giant step that they’ve often taken only reluctantly. Before they even start they’re looking for a way out. Talking about termination when they’ve just screwed up the courage to begin therapy may be enough to tip them over the edge into quitting.

Also, endings are hard. Ending a relationship whose major purpose is to dig deep into some very personal, vulnerable, and sometimes scary stuff feels even harder. Some people choose not to terminate in the traditional way (including me! Full disclosure, I have absolutely terminated via voicemail. I just wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to talk about it so I took the easy way out). I’ve also had clients feel really anxious about terminating and instead prefer a slow fadeout: first a session every two weeks, then every month, then… See you later? 

In fact, that’s a way to make termination much less frightening: you can always come back. I’ll be here. And if you’re nervous about starting therapy, maybe knowing there’s a time to end it will help. It’s one session at a time. You can start–and stop–whenever you’re ready.